Two Things

1. new haircut
2. new eye makeup Noor brought back for me from Chanel in London

The King's English (READ ALOUD)

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, slough and through.

Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
That looks like beard but sounds like bird.
And dead: It’s said like bed, not bead --
For goodness’ sake, don’t call it deed!

Watch out for meat and great and threat…
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.
A moth is not the moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, nor broth in brother.

And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there’s dose and rose and lose --
Just look them up -- and goose and choose.

And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go, then thwart and cart,
Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start!

A dreadful language? Why, sakes alive!
I’d learned to speak it when I was five.
And yet, to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn’t learned it at fifty-five.

As heard on the local news...

Sources call the singer a 'recreational lesbian'.

ADA Malcolm Bales

Conversation which just took place between Rachel and me:

Me: I asked my dad just how serious he was about this 'War on Drugs'.

Rachel: I was not aware that the 'War on Drugs' was still on.

Me: That was a blog-worthy quote, my friend. My dad will enjoy that.

Baseball

On Sunday I added Coors Field to the list of stadiums I have visited (Astrodome, Minute Maid Park, Yankee Stadium, Wrigley Field, Petco Park). My family was in town for vacation (Pops was clever enough to check the Rockies' schedule), and I realized how long it had been as soon as I saw them- the last time was at Kelly's high school graduation, far too long. Molly is so big and cute and sweet, eating pickles with her six teeth (3 on top, 3 on bottom- I thought they came in 2 at a time) and laughing. Kelly Belly is gearing up to move to Austin and live at Kinsolving dormitory. Patrick, Betsy, and Brigid are about to begin another year of school, and Molly is going to start preschool in the fall. Luckily she is learning to walk in time, as Mom's preschool has walking as a prerequisite for admission and no one can accuse Miss Betsy of bending the rules or showing favoritism to her grandchildren.

Tetris Tournament

If you are on Facebook, get in on the Tetris tourney. Thus far, I own the game and am looking for some real competition (ranking at this writing: 265th of 52444).

Rijksmuseum

I went to Amsterdam, got some culture.

My favorite word there is 'lucifers', which is Dutch for matches.

Portugal

I was in Lisbon the first half of this week, staying at Sofitel. My room had this super great shower head that is like a chrome disk on the ceiling and delivers a rain shower effect. After googling it, I discovered that they run from four hundred to a thousand dollars per.

My bathroom was also outfitted with a bidet, which I understood in theory but not in practice. Could I find someone immodest enough who wouldn't mind giving a demonstration? I figured this might prove difficult, so I looked up a demo on YouTube, which I thought was pretty funny. Next trip to Europe, I am prepared.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8cunTYbi9yM

Green

I'm doing the work. I'm not a slacker! I began to take steps in order to save the planet. The following pretty much make me a hero:

1. Turning the water off while I shave
2. Using cloth grocery bags
3. Public transportation all day, everyday

Marks against me: I don't recycle and I use aerosol hairspray. Baby steps.